Saving Face
This economy is making us ugly. Which is precisely why you should be considering plastic surgery despite the fact that you have absolutely no money or credit. Because even the beautiful people are having a tough time getting jobs and if they’re having a tough time getting jobs, then you probably need all the help you can get. Over the last couple of weeks, my crow’s feet have started to take over my entire face. There’s nothing more unsightly than crow’s feet that extend past your cheekbones.
In 2008, cosmetic surgeries were down nine percent but now there seems to be an increased interest among people wanting to look “younger” and “fresher” before reentering the job market. Especially if you’re trying to get your old job back by posing as someone else. NOW who’s laughing?!
“I’m 56 and I’ve been in the music business for 35 years. We’re not having a good year and I know I’ll soon have to interview,” said Jeff Grabow, who recently spent $17,000 on a facelift. Seriously? 17 grand? I’ll show you a bad year.
Of course, women are more susceptible to this latest trend given that they can’t rely on “skills” so much as a “nice ass” to get that elusive competitive edge. According to a poll conducted by the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, 13 percent of the women surveyed between the ages of 18 and 64 say they would consider having a cosmetic medical procedure to increase their confidence. Well, how do you think Nancy Pelosi became Speaker of the House?
In order to capitalize on the sheer desperation and misery of the unemployed, Manhattan plastic surgeon Stephen Greenberg recently began promoting a “Job Fighter Package.” (Resume enhancement not included.)
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